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3 Qualities You Should Look For In A Healthy Sponsor

Finding a sponsor quickly in early recovery can help you get started on the twelve steps as soon as possible. Choosing the right sponsor is easy by looking for these three qualities about the way they sponsor people. In addition, they should be someone you feel you relate to, whose life in recovery is something you admire, and who you feel you can trust.


  1. They Are Generous With Time And Knowledge: Once upon a time your sponsor was in the same position as you. New to recovery, uncomfortable with feelings and cravings, not sure how to make it through another day sober. A sponsor reached out to them offer generous amounts of time and knowledge about recovery, the Big Book, the twelve steps, and more. Sponsors in a relationship with a sponsee are supposed to give their time and knowledge generously as it was given to them. If a sponsor is holding back or creating requirements to “earn” what they know, they are not the right person.
  2. They Do Not Sugar Coat Things For You: A sponsor does not have to be rigid, rude, and confrontational on the borderline of emotionally abusive. Likewise, a sponsor does not have to be gentle, soft, cooing, and affectionate. Ideally, a sponsor should have a healthy balance of realism and optimism, compassion and empathy, with some healthy boundary settings. Your sponsor is not your therapist or your parent. Your sponsor is someone who dedicates their time to showing you how to live a clean and sober lifestyle of recovery. As a result, they should be realistic and assertive with you when necessary. Addiction is a sneaky disease which can quickly turn the brain. Sponsors are there to help you realize when your thinking has gone astray and put it back on track.
  3. They Are Loyal And Maintain Confidence: Going through the twelve steps with a sponsor means that individual will b getting to know you on a deep and intimate level. Sharing your fourth step, your moral inventory, with your sponsor means going through some of your darkest moments together. A sponsor should be committed to your relationship with them, not anything else. Too often, sponsors have a tendency to talk about their sponsees and what their sponsees are going through to other people. Understand, your sponsor is not a perfect person. At times, they will need to seek outside advice so they can best guide you in their recovery. This is an important quality which teaches you that it is always okay to ask for help.

Enlightened Solutions believes in the spiritual principles and lifestyle of the twelve steps. Our partial care programs for addiction and dual diagnosis issues bring together the twelve step philosophy with proven clinical treatments and holistic healing modalities. For more information, call us today at 833-801-5483.

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