After cleaning house with others in your life is done, you have yourself to reconcile with. Having a hard time forgiving yourself? You might be holding expectations of yourself too high.
You realize that everyone else seems satisfied with you, except for you. When someone pays you a compliment, you find it hard to take. If only they knew, you think to yourself, how untrue that statement was. For various reasons in life we come to stop believing in ourselves and our self-worth. We might have received harsh criticisms, experienced bullying, or found ourselves neglected from a parent’s love. Whatever the emotional trauma, the message from that experience told us to believe we weren’t good enough. Letting go of inadequacy is only possible by finding and holding on to feelings of adequacy, worthiness, deservedness, and self-worth. Recognize that you are in control of how you feel compared to others, including yourself.
Through recovery, we find our authentic selves and take actionable strides towards living authentically. Having decided who we are, who we want to be, and how we want to live, we’ve embraced that fully. Yet, at the slightest notice, we become remarkably insecure. We know that our expectations of ourselves are too high when we can’t be in acceptance of where life is at the moment. You might find that you rationalize or justify the state of your life because you don’t think it’s good enough. Remember, the grass isn’t always greener, so stop and smell the roses where you are.
Expectations are, as we say in recovery, a highway to disappointments. Disappointments most dangerously lead to resentments. Having a resentment towards yourself for not meeting your own unreasonable expectations is a tormenting place to be. Self-loathing leads to self-centeredness which is, for persons in recovery, a red level warning area. Additionally, you might start to think you’re disappointing everyone else. Though it sounds self-conscious, it is more self-obsessed. To be convinced of everyone’s disappointment means to think everyone is constantly thinking about you. It is unlikely. Let yourself be where you are in all of your accomplishments, one day at a time.
Enlightened Solutions is committed to providing excellence in care to men and women who are seeking liberation from their abusive relationships with drugs and alcohol. Our beautiful facility offers peace and tranquility to support our integrative program. We incorporate 12 step philosophy with holistic methods of treatment. If you are concerned about your problems with drinking, drug use, and co-occurring disorders, call Enlightened Solutions today. Recovery starts with you. Start by calling us. 833-801-5483.
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