Are You Codependent?

Recovering from codependency and codependent tendencies can feel as difficult as recovering from drug addiction and alcoholism. Letting go of lifetime behaviors and survival techniques is hard, but it is not impossible. You can have loving and healthy relationships. Are you codependent? See if you resonate with any of these descriptions:

  • You feel that if you don’t meet the needs of others you will be abandoned, rejected, abused, or neglected
  • As a result, you value the needs and wants of others over your own
  • Sometimes, the way you prioritize other people over yourself can lead to problems in your relationships and responsibilities
  • You feel like you cannot escape the cycle of trying to control, manipulate, care-take, and be overbearing in relationships. Once it starts causing problems, you feel as though it gets worse.
  • You either have poor boundaries or don’t set any boundaries when it comes to other people. You’re willing to let someone completely into your life and insert yourself completely into someone else’s. You’re often tired and feel like you have lost your sense of self.
  • You constantly dismiss your own thoughts, opinions, desires, wants, and needs as though they are unimportant and bothersome to other people. It’s possible you believe they are unimportant because you believe that you are unimportant.
  • Your life is full of obligations and responsibilities which drain you of your time, energy, and spirit. You are constantly in a state of giving, care taking, and managing. Frequently, you find yourself burned out and feeling resentful towards others. Eventually, you take on responsibilities from others just to be mad at them because you don’t feel there is any other way.
  • There is a good chance you’re in a relationship with an addict, an alcoholic, someone with narcissistic personality disorder, another codependent, or in some other kind of dysfunctional relationship.
  • You likely grew up in a home with someone who was abusive, neglectful, or who abandoned you and also suffered with an untreated mental health disorder.
  • You likely have a mental health disorder of your own, outside of your codependency.
  • Deep down, you feel that if you can just do enough, be enough, and please other people they won’t leave or hurt you.

Enlightened Recovery Solutions knows that there is freedom and serenity in recovery. It starts with you. Start your recovery with us. We integrate the best of holistic healing, spiritual wellness, clinically proven therapy, and 12 step philosophy. For more information, call us today at 833-801-5483.

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Losing Yourself in Someone Else: Codependency

Codependency can be a development that takes place through hidden increments. At the foundation of codependent tendencies is a set of basic human fears:

I am not worthy

I am not whole

I am not loveable

Should our significant other discover these unconscionable truths, they may leave us. Forgetful that these fears are the fallacy of the human conditions, we adopt them as personalized convictions. Our relationships transform from mutual to one-sided, shifting from healthy to unbalanced.

Codependency is Losing Yourself in Someone Else

Healthy relationships have an open communication channel for limiting what each individual is capable and not capable of doing. Saying “no” is setting a loving boundary with just two letters. Relationships are unbalanced when saying “no” becomes a point of anxiety because saying “yes” has become obligation for one or both partners. Love and service are beautiful parts of any partnership. They are not the same as indentured enslavement. Codependency is when we lose our ability to say “no” out of fear. We might notice that when our partner needs help, we run to their aid. When we are unable to attend to them, we suffer from guilt and anxiety. Unless we are validated by our partner’s need for us in their lives, we feel lost. Our sense of being is defined by how we are needed.

Detached from our inherent strength to set boundaries is the beginning of a decline in our authentic voice. Codependency in a relationship creates fear that our opinions, thoughts, and feelings might scare the other person away. As a result, we cease expressing ourselves as we are. Instead, we speak as we think our partner would prefer us to be heard. We might mimic them entirely. We feel that our being is not as good as theirs, that we are less than them. Ultimately, we are in fear of abandonment and rejection. Allowing fear to dictate how we act as a whole being extinguishes our ability to come from love.

We not only lose sight of our personal power and our voice, we disconnect from our needs entirely. Prioritizing the identity and responsibility of our partner, we forget to focus on our own needs. Friends, family, 12-Step meetings, hobbies, and interests fall to the wayside as our world closes in around our partner.

Enlightened Solutions humbly offers a holistic design for the recovery process to heal the spirit, mind, and body. Our program is rooted in twelve step philosophy as a solution to the problem of drug and alcohol addiction. Call us today for more information on our programs of treatment for men and women seeking recovery 833-801-5483.