Saying “No” Is Easy To Do

No means no. We might mean to say no, but somehow it always turns into a yes. Learning to say no is an important part of addiction recovery. Each day we are saying no to our very impulses and brain chemistry asking us to go back out and drink or use.

Start Small And Work Your Way Up

Empowerment isn’t always comfortable and neither are boundaries. When we are raised in a home without healthy boundaries, we grow up without understanding what they are or how to set them. Learning how to say no and set boundaries can feel awkward at first because of this. Before you start saying no in big situations, try starting off small. You might be surprised to discover the amount of times per day you are given the opportunity to say no.

Learn More About “No” As You Go (And Grow)

Boundaries, or the lack thereof, are not the only reason we have a hard time saying no. How We think and feel about rejecting what we don’t want, don’t need, or can’t do, has been molded over time. Part of the empowerment process is learning about ourselves and what makes us who we are. Investigate how you've been shown “no”throughout your life. You might discover some of the insightful information which helps you release your past attachments and make more no decisions in the future.

Stop Apologizing For Saying No

Part of the framing we have around no often has to do with guilt. We might have been shown that it is wrong or bad to say no to people. In the past, we might have been shamed or even abused, for saying “no” to something. As a result, we experience pains of guilt and remorse when we simply say no. Overtime we learn not to apologize for standing up for ourselves, setting boundaries, and setting healthy limitations on what we are capable of committing to at any point in time.

Make Your No’s Clear And Concise

When we are learning to be empowered and still feel uncomfortable with saying no, we might try to find ways around just saying no. Being unclear in our assertions removes the assertiveness of our statements. It is unfair to ourselves and to the people we are communicating with notto be honest, concise, and clear about the limitation weare setting. No means no, and that’s okay.

Enlightened Solutions seeks to empower men and women to live their best possible lives in recovery, free from the damaging effects of drugs and alcohol. For more information on our dual diagnosis residential treatment programs, call 833-801-5483.

Enlightening Empowerment: Owning your Choices and Taking Responsibility for the Consequences

“You are free to choose…” is the most simple way of describing man’s spiritual gift in his ability to express free will; however, “ are not free from the consequence of your choice.”

Imagine all the world, mankind, and creation, as existing within one pond. With every choice we make, we cast an energetic pebble upon the pond’s waters. As a result, the pond ripples, sending waves out across the surface until it hits a border and comes back again. Over and over this cycle repeats until the energy of the wave dies out. Magnifying that example to the expansiveness of our existence, there is not telling where or when the energy of our choices might cease to have an effect. Some call this “new age” and “spiritual thinking” while others might refer to it as metaphysical law or quantum mechanics.

From a purely ontological perspective, if we choose to drop a heavy rock on our foot, we are not freed from a broken toe. Big or small, our choices have meaning for ourselves and others. Attempting to choose inconsequentially likely enabled many patterns of our addictive and alcoholic behaviors. Ignorant to how our drinking and using was affecting others, we continued to choose suffering, choose intoxication, regardless of the consequence. Recovery gives us the gifts of consideration, selflessness, and service. Approaching each choice with mindfulness, we learn to take responsibility for the consequences of our choices.

Simply accepting “blame” is different from the empowering practice of truly owning the choices we make. For example, we choose to accept a task assigned to us by another. Regretting it immediately, we moan and complain, becoming resentful of this horrible tragedy we’re suffering. How quickly we cast the ownership of our choices! Empowerment would mean owning the choice to accept this task. Enlightened empowerment would not only own the action, but own the process as well. Yes, we made the choice to take on this task. We are going to complete it fully as a result.

Recovery is not forced upon us. Though overtime we lose our deep attachment to the suffering of craving, we always have the choice to drink. Empowerment in recovery comes from fully embracing the every day, multiple times a day, decision not to drink or use drugs. Enlightened empowerment comes from trudging that road to happy destiny with grace. We choose to stay sober each day and we face the consequence of fulfilling the needs of the recovery lifestyle. We own it because we love it and we love ourselves.

Enlightened Solutions believes in the empowering effect of recovery from drug and alcohol addiction through treatment. Founded in twelve step philosophy and coupled with holistic healing practices, Enlightened offers a multidisciplinary approach. We have hope for the hopeless and a solution for the answerless.