How to Be Sober at a Wedding

How to Be Sober at a Wedding

Weddings can be intimidating if you are in recovery. This can be especially true if this wedding has an open bar or even champagne for toasts. It is important to prepare yourself for your upcoming wedding if there will be any alcoholic beverages and what to do if there is.

Remain Calm

It is possible that the wedding reception has an open bar and you are seeing so many wedding guests drinking. When you see the smiles on everyone’s faces as they drink, you cannot help but start to miss alcohol. You need to tell yourself that all of these feelings are normal. You may be struggling or find it difficult to have fun when this is your first wedding sober. Remind yourself that your sole purpose at this wedding is to honor the bride and groom and not to do anything that could ruin their big day.

Bring Reminders

When you see everyone have a good time while they are drinking, you may be wondering why you chose sobriety. Before the wedding, make sure you have with you a list of reasons why you chose to be sober. Carry them in your pocket or purse and take that list out when you feel a craving. You can also use the Notes app on your phone so that you always have that list with you and do not have to worry about losing it. You can also remind yourself why sobriety will be good for you. See this wedding as an opportunity to introduce everyone to a brand new person. A person who does not get drunk or is expected to have a hangover the next morning.

What to Tell People Who Ask

If people are used to seeing you drink and you no longer are, you will most likely get a lot of questions. Make a script in advance just in case someone comes across you asking why you are not drinking. You can either use a white lie like you cannot drink for medical reasons or tell the truth. You can also be humorous about it to avoid any tension. Rehearsing this beforehand can make it sound natural once the wedding hits. Maybe you can share something on your list like telling someone you know you will not be in control after that first sip. The person you could be sharing with may have a story to tell as well.

Avoid Heavy Drinkers

You can make it easier on yourself at this wedding instead of forcing yourself to be around others who will do heavy drinking. Do not stand near the bar for a long time or speak too long to heavy drinkers. Speak to those people for no more than 15 minutes so that you are not being rude by ignoring them. Then, catch up to guests who are not drinking and spend more time with them. This will reduce your drinking triggers and help you focus on your own behavior. 

Find Things To Do

A wedding can feel long and exhausting if you are not doing anything. This will just make you want to focus on the thoughts that tell you to drink. You can fight this feeling by finding things to do. You can ask the bride or the groom if you can be a host or hostess to make sure each person can find their seat at the table or at the ceremony. You can also check in on other people to see how they are doing or fix any problems that you see. If there is anyone who is not getting any attention, feel free to speak to them. 

Let Yourself Have Fun

Having fun does not need to mean that you drink to feel good. You can still have fun by having funny conversations with others, dancing, and taking part in any games or activities. This can be a good learning experience to show you how you can have fun without a drink in your hand. You do not need a liquid to encourage you, but just listen to the music and join in.

Plan Ahead

You know when a wedding is coming up as weddings take months or even years to plan. When you know that the wedding is approaching, think of a plan before the big day comes. This can mean calling your sponsor, therapist, or anyone else supporting your sobriety. You can also make sure to write in your journal leading up to the event, do yoga, or any other form of meditation. Try to visualize the night like what you will wear, what non-alcoholic beverage you want to drink, declining alcohol, and going home at a reasonable hour. Make a firm decision to stick to this plan on the big day.

Leave Early If You Need To

If you find that sobriety is too hard for you, it is important for you to leave early if you need to. You might feel like you are selfish to leave your loved one’s big day, but thinking about your own health is important and should be prioritized. Your true friends will want you to feel comfortable whether they know what you are going through or not. Maybe you can attend the ceremony but leave the reception early if there are too many triggers. Creating a plan to handle your triggers will allow you to enjoy your loved one’s wedding sober.

Located on the shore of Southern New Jersey, Enlightened Solutions is a recovery center that uses evidence-based therapies and holistic healing to treat addiction and mental illness. With the opportunity to learn about therapies that are keyed in to healing the human spirit and learning about new stress-reducing techniques centered around a 12 step network, you will ensure a lasting recovery. For more information, please call us at 833-801-LIVE as we are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.


Woman Uses Instagram to Teach Others of Her Boyfriend’s Addiction Recovery Journey

Woman Uses Instagram to Teach Others of Her Boyfriend’s Addiction Recovery Journey

Instagram is a social networking tool where you can post pictures and videos of yourself and your friends as well as including filters to them to give them a sense of style. Instagram can also be a good way to document a person’s journey such as trying to lose weight or even trying to recover from addiction. A woman from Nottingham decided to use Instagram as a tool to document her boyfriend’s heroin addiction to teach followers how bad it can get and to encourage others to go into treatment.

Using Instagram to Stay Sober

Recovery.org did a study to show how Instagram can help those struggling with addiction to help recover. Hashtags like #sober, #soberlife, and #12steps have been used in over 79,000 posts. #Soberlife was the most common addiction recovery hashtag with 32,707 mentions followed by #sobriety which has 19,033 mentions. Recovery programs like #narcoticsanonymous had 1,638 mentions and #alcoholicsanonymous had 1,272 mentions. The study also showed that Utah had the most addiction recovery posts 144.4 posts per capita and California had 70.8. Ironically, Utah has one of the lowest national rates of illicit substance abuse with California having high levels. This shows that substance abuse must be fairly new in Utah and more people are interested in learning about it. 

Instagram has the power to let users stay anonymous compared to Facebook where you are told to put in your personal information in your profile. Instagram helps give people space where they can share their experiences of addiction without having to worry about coworkers or family members knowing about it. While unfortunately there are websites that can trigger a person’s addiction, there are also others that encourage others to seek treatment.

Instagram Addiction Recovery Accounts

One Instagram account is called “Sober Quotes” that posts life lessons and motivational advice to get through the hard days of keeping sober. “Let’s Help Broken Ones” focuses on promoting self-love and passing it on to others. Users can also ask questions or messages in 300 characters for account creators to answer. “12 Steps to Recovery” provides messages of hope and messages of healing through the 12 steps. “Recovery Daily” provides encouragement through faith in a Higher Power. This is good for those who incorporate their religious beliefs into their recovery.

A Relationship Starting with Addiction

Lisa Selby met her boyfriend, Elliot Murawski, in 2015 at Alcoholics Anonymous. While they quickly fell in love with each other, Murawski relapsed and was sent to jail for two years and eight months after he was caught drug dealing to support his habit. Elliot first tried drugs when he was 12 and moved onto illegal substances when he was 15. After keeping his relapse a secret from Selby for three months, he finally confessed to her about it. This inspired Selby to create the Instagram account, @bluebaglife, to better understand her boyfriend’s addiction. The account was named after the little blue bag that Murawski would keep his drugs in. This account now has 11.5 thousand followers. 

Creating An Honest Addiction Recovery Instagram Account 

Selby started to take photos and videos of Murawski to better understand her boyfriend’s addiction in the hope it would help him detox. She would also show Murawski the pictures that she took of him when he was high to help each other understand what it was doing to both of them. She would take pictures of him looking high, pictures of the needles and other supplies used for drug supply, and even a picture of himself staring at a needle filled with heroin. Murawski would help Selby out with her Instagram account by sending letters and captions for her to use despite having no access to social media. 

There would be honest posts of Murawski suggesting to Selby that they should do drugs together and her refusing. She also posted a caption where she explains how she would see syringe packets surrounding her as she ate breakfast. He would hide his drug habits in his car and then in the bathroom. He then began using drugs in front of her. Selby was then able to learn from him where he acquired drugs and how it was done. Because she lost her mother to heroin use, Selby wanted to learn through her boyfriend about what made her lose her mom.

Instagram Account Reactions

This couple was amazed to see how many followers they were getting and how much they were supporting Murawski to overcome his drug use. In order to prevent people from being triggered by the photos and videos that were posted, the account was created as private. Selby said that she is proud of the network that she created through this account and hopes to help others suffering from addiction. Making accounts like these will encourage others to be honest about their addiction. By seeing the worst of drug addiction through these photos and videos, this will make others feel incredible joy when that person reaches recovery. 

Elliot Murawski’s Recovery

Murawski has been clean for two years and believes that Instagram is the reason why he reached recovery. Now, Selby is using Instagram to help others tell their stories of addiction. Breaking the stigma on popular social media platforms can make a difference. These Instagram accounts will show the honest brutality that addiction can inflict on someone and can encourage others that there is always time to better your life.

Located on the shore of Southern New Jersey, Enlightened Solutions is a recovery center using evidence-based therapies and holistic healing to treat addiction and mental illness. With the opportunity to learn about therapies that are keyed in to healing the human spirit and learning about new stress-reducing techniques centered around a 12 step network, you will ensure a lasting recovery. For more information, please call us at 833-801-LIVE as we are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.