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Healthy Relationships

Written by enlightened solutions on November 24, 2017. Posted in Addiction, Relationships. Leave a Comment

Before an addict enters treatment there are many aspects of life are lacking. When abusing substances it is hard to main healthy relationships with friends and family. Depending on how functioning the addict was, the range of seclusion varied from those who had only good intent. Some were able to hide their addiction well, while others fell into a life of isolation only allowing others who were enabling their usage. Addicts in the disease push out everyone in their life who might get in their way of getting high. It may get to the point where the addict only communicates with other addicts and/or drug dealers. It’s an extremely lonely feeling for the addict and it becomes easy to slip into the victim role. Until the addict decides to accept recovery, more loved ones tend to slip away.

Upon entering treatment the addict is suggested to cut off contact with others who are still using. It’s time to move forward and never look back. When the addict regains their healthy state of mind, they will find that they will attract others who live healthy lifestyles. The addict who learns how to set boundaries with friends and family will find a new confidence within. There are those who are “people pleasers” and those who are more controlling but both need to know the balance between the two. Boundaries help the addict feel safe and secure in any relationship. Although it’s recommended not to get in a relationship the first year of sobriety, when the addict it ready, this applies to romantic relationships as well. The concept that “two sicks, don’t make a well” can offer a simple explanation. If a relationship doesn’t serve the addict, it’s okay to move on. No one is forcing a relationship on anyone and although it may be painful, it’s apart of life that will need to be handled properly. It may be uncomfortable but that’s part of the transformation.

The addict becomes aware again of the importance of the intuition. In early recovery, it’s essential to listen to the treatment staff or others who support the addict’s recovery. After some time of sobriety, the addict will be able to feel in their gut or intuition who they should surround themselves. Boundaries can difficult to set and it takes practice. It’s suggested the addict attend support groups which will be a learning experience in boundaries setting right off the bat. Following the recommendations of others who manage well in sobriety, can give the addict an example to follow. Once the addict establishes relationships in life, there will be less of a need to numb the resentful communications with others. The law of attraction will come into play, and the addict will be able to let go of the painful past a little more each day.

If you are struggling with addiction, Enlightened Solutions offers group therapy geared towards maintaining healthy relationships while boundaries. With our holistic, clinical, and 12-step approach, an addicted loved one can learn how to respect themselves and others. Come to New Jersey and begin your path to recovery today: 833-801-5483.

A parent finds out how to How to help a loved one with addiction.

Supporting A Loved One Who Has Experienced Sexual Assault

Written by enlightened solutions on December 20, 2016. Posted in Family Recovery. Leave a Comment

According to RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, an American is sexually assaulted every 109 seconds. Out of every 1,000 perpetrators, only 6 will end up in prison to pay for their crime.

Listen To Their Story

Our cultural environment tends to play the role of the non believer when it comes to listening to stories of sexual assault. We like to blame the victim for not doing enough to protect themselves or change the situation. Sexual assault is highly stigmatized in our society, leaving victims of sexual assault feeling a double dose of shame. One of the best things you can do if your loved one has experienced sexual assault is listen to them actively. Active listening means creating the space to totally hear what they have to say without interruption, question, or judgment. After they are done, thank them for sharing, and remind them you are hear to listen to them.

Learn More About Sexual Assault

Sexual assault is not just rape. Men and women are groped, mistreated, and physically/sexually abused each day. Around the country there are trainings on stopping sexual assault, caring for someone who has been sexually assaulted, and learning more about consent. Sexual assault can be traumatizing resulting in ongoing effects similar to those of PTSD which can include symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Encourage A Report

Millions of sexual assault survivors go without making an official report. Many feel a report only brings them more shame and judgment, that they are never taken seriously. A report should still be made, as well as a full physical inspection. Support them by telling them you’ll be by their side.

Understand Their Sensitivity

We live in a sex driven culture that often doesn’t consider the depth of its jokes. Understand that for years to come, your loved one might be sensitive to the hypersexuality around them. What might seem like a harmless joke may be a deeply disturbing trigger for them. Try to act respectful toward sex, sexuality, and topics of sexual violence.

Enlightened Solutions supports the treatment of substance use disorders which are co-occurring with mild or severe PTSD. Our facility is certified to treat dual diagnosis clients in order to meet all of their needs for recovery. Call us today to learn more about our programs, 833-801-5483.

Things All People in Recovery Need to Hear Now and Then

Written by enlightened solutions on September 20, 2016. Posted in Recovery. Leave a Comment

Everyone needs words of encouragement. For your loved one, or for yourself, in recovery, here are some of the most helpful sentiments you can offer.

You’re Doing a Great Job

We all need to hear we’re doing a good job of things every now and then. Addicts and alcoholics in recovery sometimes feel as though they aren’t doing much. Being in treatment for thirty days or longer might seem like vacation to some. However, participating in the emotional and spiritual demands of addiction treatment is no small feat. Each day, in spite of exhausting and debilitating physical and mental circumstances, people in treatment are showing up. They are showing up to confront their innermost selves and deal with deep issues they may not have seen in many years. Beyond the treatment experience, every single day addicts and alcoholics in treatment are defying the odds which are stacked against them: they are staying sober. Even if that’s the best thing they did on an average day, they did an amazing job.

You Are Not Weak for Being an Addict in Recovery

Reaching out for help is something we are born with. As developing infants and growing toddlers we pick up cues from adults around us and learn to express what we need. Somehow, that innate ability gets lost in adulthood and addiction. We stop asking for help and become ashamed of ever needing help, especially when we need help stopping the abusive use of substances. Addiction does not make us weak and asking for help in overcoming addiction does not make us weak. Quite the contrary, asking for help to overcome a fatal disease is one of the most courageous things we can do.

You Deserve to Get Better

When we hit our bottom of drinking and using we don’t feel we deserve much. Many experience feelings of shame, guilt, and self-loathing. After all, it is likely that we caused a bit of damage in our active addiction. Finances, relationships, responsibilities- once addiction completely takes over the brain, everything else becomes secondary. Perhaps it is part of our mind’s way to convince us to keep using; nonetheless we might avoid getting sober because we feel we don’t deserve it. Everyone deserves a chance to live a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.

I’m so Glad You’re Alive

Addiction claims tens of thousands of lives each year. Though the shame and stigma of addiction is pervasive, the hope of recovery is as well. Our loved ones are making the decision to live on the other side of the statistics- the side that survives addiction. We remind them that they are here for a reason and we are so happy that they are.

Making the decision to get sober can be scary. Enlightened Solutions is here to help you make the transition to recovery. Your life’s worth living. We believe in you. Are you ready to believe in you too? We offer programs of treatment to men and women seeking recovery from addiction to drugs and alcohol. For more information call 833-801-5483.

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