Everything is picture perfect during the winter. Snow on the tree tops, decorations perfectly in place, the winter’s fashions making everyone look cozy. For perfectionists, especially those in recovery for drug addiction and alcoholism, trying to hold together the perfect holiday season is taxing. Many of us try to compensate for ruined holidays past by making each new one as perfect as possible. We have to realize that life continues to occur on life’s terms, even when it’s the holidays. Like any other day, we have to take each hour in stride and accept what we cannot change. Rather than fixate on what is going wrong or what might go wrong, try to focus on acceptance. Move past the judgments of good, bad, right, and wrong. Instead, take time to truly participate in holiday cheer and laugh merrily along the way. The true holiday miracle is that you’re alive and sober to see another winter season.
As recovering alcoholics, addicts, and perfectionists, we feel a nagging need to be in control of everything. Unfortunately, we can’t be in control of everything and we cannot do it alone. Out of our effort to put on a perfect face to demonstrate our recovery we forget that it is a sign of true growth and strength to ask for help. Connect with your friends, loved ones, and family members by participating in holiday preparations together.
Adhering to unrealistic ideals of perfection usually sets our expectations high. High expectations lead to very low disappointments. Tell yourself it’s okay to expect the unexpected and expect nothing at all. Keeping low expectations does not mean you expect the worse. It does mean you leave room to be pleasantly surprised.
The true purpose of the holidays is to give us a yearly chance to be in gratitude and thankfulness all the time. What matters is focusing on how our lives have changed and how rich they have become through sobriety. If you feel your perfectionism lighting up like a christmas tree, look at each twinkling light and find something to be grateful for.
Enlightened Solutions offers a sanctuary to those in need of help and support during the holidays. We know this time of year can be difficult and challenging for getting or staying sober. Our multiple levels of care help us to individualize a program to meet your needs. For more information call 833-801-5483.
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