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Why Do We Hate Ourselves?

A common theme when it comes to our mental and emotional health is how much we struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. If we don’t consciously work to address these issues, they can manifest as all kinds of problems with our mental and emotional health. We grow to hate ourselves but often don’t know why. Here are some of the factors.

Our Culture

Our mainstream culture creates certain standards, for how we should look, think, feel, act and live. This becomes the status quo, and we are constantly exposed to these standards through the clever marketing of advertising and entertainment. We come to be brainwashed to believe that these things are what we should aspire to, and that there is something wrong with us for being different. We consciously and subconsciously look to these external markings for validation, and when we don’t live up to them, we feel inadequate and inferior. When we aren’t conscious of this process, we can grow to hate ourselves.


Sometimes when we experience abuse or violence at the hands of family members, partners or even strangers, we internalize that abuse to mean there is something inherently wrong with us. We come to believe that we aren’t worthy of love, that we aren’t good enough, and that we deserve to be abused. If we allow ourselves to continue these toxic thought patterns for too long and don’t work to extricate ourselves from them, what can result is an overall feeling of self-hatred.  


Everyone makes mistakes, but some of us tend to hold onto the guilt from our mistakes for years on end. We struggle to forgive ourselves, even when those we hurt have forgiven us, even when we feel our higher power has forgiven us. We see our mistakes not as learning experiences necessary for our growth, but as proof we aren’t good people. Our guilt turns into shame, the pervasive feeling that your actions make you unworthy, unlovable, and a bad person. Your guilt distorts your self-image, and eventually you feel like a monster, forgetting just how common our mistakes actually are in the grand scheme of human nature.

Self-hatred can fuel and compound addiction, depression and any other form of mental illness. It can be so sad, so isolating and so painful to hate yourself. In order to heal from any issue we might be experiencing in our lives, we have to make unconditional self-love a priority in our healing process.

The community at Enlightened Solutions has years of personal and professional experience dealing with these issues. Call (833) 801-LIVE for more information.

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