What If I Want To Break Up With My Sponsor?

What If I Want To Break Up With My Sponsor?

A sponsor is a volunteer position. People who offer sponsorship in twelve step programs are not professionals. They are neither therapists nor counselors in this position, though they may be licensed in life outside ‘the program’. Sponsors are volunteers who have completed the twelve steps and who have maintained sobriety consistently for a long period of time. You do not sign a contract with a sponsor and you are not obligated to them in your relationship with them in any way. The primary purpose of your relationship with your sponsor is twofold. First, they are to successfully guide you through the twelve steps and help advise you on staying sober. Second, they are to equip you with the tools you need to guide another individual through the steps so you can become someone else’s sponsor. Once you have completed the steps with your sponsor, there is no need to continue a close relationship with them, according to the original format of Alcoholics Anonymous. Many people maintain a relationship with their sponsor for years, doing the steps with them repeatedly, and seeking advice from them when needed. Sponsors can offer accountability, insight, and guidance from their experience and wisdom gained through their years in the program.

Sponsors are, however, just people. Moreover, sponsors are addicts and alcoholics in recovery, meaning they are still prone to their imperfections and character deficits. There may come a time when your relationship with your sponsor no longer serves you and you are ready to move on. Mistakenly, people refer to this as “breaking up” with your sponsor, which automatically creates an assumption of guilt. There is nothing to feel guilty about if you decide to move onto another sponsor. Unless, that is, you do it in a disrespectful way.

What to say to your sponsor

You want to arrange a time to talk, either on the phone or in person. Sponsors tend to be keen on when someone they are sponsoring is going to transition out of the relationship. Let them know that you are grateful for the time and energy they willingly gave to you. Describe to them the difference they have made in your life and what you have learned from them. Express your gratitude for the experience of your relationship. Then simply let them know it is your wish to move on and continue your recovery. When you see them at meetings, be friendly and cordial, always be grateful, and never feel that you have to be ashamed of moving on from that relationship.

If you are seeking transformation and looking for a dual-diagnosis treatment, our facility’s amazing program could be the answer you’ve been searching for! Enlightened Solutions offers a clinical, holistic and 12-step approach for the addiction recovery process. For more information call today: 844-234-LIVE.  


Feel Your Heart Beating?

Feel Your Heart Beating?

Why are you alive today? If we struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction, any kind of mental illness, or just the sheer enigma of human existence, we might wake up and ask ourselves that question. Why? Why are we here? Why are we alive? We don’t always get a clear answer as to why. Moving past the why, we start to fall into the what. Our what usually has to do with our why and it falls under the word purpose. What is your purpose? We can assume that we are alive for some reason and that reason must have a purpose if it is not our purpose entirely. In the days when we wake up and ask ourselves why or ask ourselves what all we have to do is put our hand on our chest to feel our heart beating. Yes, we are alive. Yes, there is some purpose. Our heart is beating. We are alive. There is a reason for that because there is a reason for everything.

Our humanity is plagued with existential crisis. Men and women who have lived with addiction know the struggle personally, especially in the first stages of their recovery. Addiction is a purpose for many men and women. Having lost connection to other parts of their life, many a man or woman found themselves wondering if they had a purpose outside of addiction. What if, they wonder, this is it for me? What if this is all that I am? All that I am meant to be? What if this is the role I am meant to fulfill? What is this is my purpose? As soon as they realize they can make a decision to get sober and seek help all of the negative and hopeless perspective of addiction changes. Something else is possible.

As long as we are alive, we have possibilities. We have potential even when we don’t have a plan. It is always possible to get sober. It is always possible to seek help. It is always possible to find and change your purpose.

Your purpose on earth is not suffering and being sick. Your purpose on earth is to find and strive to achieve your potential along with all of its possibilities.

If you are seeking transformation and looking for a dual-diagnosis treatment, our facility’s amazing program could be the answer you’ve been searching for! Enlightened Solutions offers a clinical, holistic and 12-step approach for the addiction recovery process. For more information call today: 844-234-LIVE.  


Does Pain Cultivate Empathy?

Does Pain Cultivate Empathy?

“We are not a glum lot,” the authors of Alcoholics Anonymous wrote. They described the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous as a group of people who would “normally not mix.” “We are average Americans. All sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented, as well as many political, economic, social, and religious backgrounds.” Despite the differences among the members, the authors emphasize, “...there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful.”

The authors explain that the fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous, and by metaphor meaning anyone who is in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction, are like passengers on a ship being rescued from a shipwreck. “The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined.” Few people can understand the suffering, pain, and plight of living in active addiction to drugs and alcohol the way that an addict or alcoholic can. That “common peril” is what creates an innate and unique sense of empathy among individuals in recovery. Without that painful experience, addicts and alcoholics might not know how to support one another.

Empathy can be defined as “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another”. Humans experience pain. We all experience some kind of pain in our lives whether it is physical, emotional, psychological, or spiritual. Every human being can humble themselves to realize that their experience of pain is no different from anyone else’s experience of pain. However, it helps when two people have suffered a very similar pain, like addiction. Out of that pain, empathy is born.

Can we be empathetic without pain? We have to be able to recognize our own pain first. We also have to be willing to recognize the pain of others. As addicts and alcoholics we turned a blind eye of denial to our own suffering and as a result ignored the suffering we caused others as a result of our addiction. Coming out on the other side of pain gives us the perspective we need to confront and resolve our pain. When we see others suffering we are no longer suffering, but have suffered. We can offer them our empathy because, due to our pain, we have the ability to understand and share their feelings of suffering.

Enlightened Solutions offers a clinical, holistic and 12-step approach to the road to recovery.  If you're struggling with addiction and/or mental illness, our program is specialized in dual-diagnosis treatments. Don't hesitate and call today: 844-234-LIVE.