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The Inner Critic and Self-Reliance 

We can struggle when we internalize ideas about ourselves that are particularly negative, especially ones that impact our self-belief. Harriet Griffey wrote “Yes, you can” for In The Moment magazine. She references a quote by Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” This quote helps to drive home the powerful notion of self-fulfilling thoughts. Here’s the thing: you have the power over your thoughts. You can squash your internal critic — here’s how!

Challenge the automatic negative thoughts

Negativity is a paved road that we often travel. We also often question the positive things in our lives. It takes practice to stop the negative thoughts and accept the positive ones. Griffey urges us to respond thoughtfully to the thoughts you have that may be negative. Employ your rational mind when thoughts become irrational. “Unless the self-criticism is challenged, it chips away at your self-belief,” Griffey says. Don’t give in to the negative thoughts — challenge them!

Believe in yourself

Self-belief in others is a common thing we recognize. We see our friends and family members accept compliments or admit their wrongdoings, but when it comes to ourselves, we have trouble accepting self-belief. Take note of when your friends and family members don’t immediately turn to the irrational negatives. They don’t have to brag or boast, either. They are able to separate the situation from who they are. It isn’t always about them, and they know that. This is what you should strive to do. Begin to recognize self-belief in those around you and you will be able to recognize it in yourself, too!

It’s not selfish

It’s not selfish to have genuine self-belief. You must have confidence so that you can accomplish the goals you’ve set for yourself. Confidence and being self-assured isn’t selfish. Don’t let what you’ve been told about selfishness to impact how you see and think about yourself. Challenge the thoughts you’ve been told, too!

With self-belief comes self-reliance. It takes strength to rely on yourself more often than you rely on others. You cannot, however, avoid relying on others all of the time; however, you can work toward making yourself the person you lean on when you have the choice. Self-reliance breeds independence and strength to become the person you want to become. Take control and forge your own path, says Annika Rose, who wrote “How to become more self-reliant” for the magazine, In The Moment. Try not to fall back on the default of leaning on others. Make your own choices, take responsibility, and activate independence, she says. Here are ways that you can be more self-reliant!

Permission granted!

Do not seek permission from others to pursue what you want and love says Rose. Give yourself the ‘yes’ you want and have been waiting for, she says. Allow yourself the space to complete what you want. You don’t have to wait for others to grant you permission. As long as you’re making a well-considered choice and taking action in the direction of your desires, says Rose, you’re on the right track. 

Balance your social and solitary time.

We all know that time alone can be good for us, but some of us don’t like solitary time. Others don’t like social gatherings. Whatever your thing is, it’s okay. You must learn to balance your time between solitary and social time, though. Solitary time can give you time to reflect and replenish, while social time can lift your mood and strengthen the relationships you have. Try to create a balance between the two. 

Take control of your finances.

Taking control of your finances can make you feel self-sufficient, says Rose. This doesn’t just stop at finances, however. Be the boss. Take control of your happiness by becoming more self-reliant and taking control of your desires.

Challenge expectations.

On the flip side, if you feel like you have become too self-reliant, you are able to take a step back and let go a bit. Going with the flow, Rose says, can be helpful to take the load off of your shoulders. Let others decide what to do next. Let them be self-reliant, too! It’s all about balance.

Turn to the experts.

“If you’re struggling to connect with your self-reliant side, try reading books, listening to podcasts, or following the Instagram accounts of pioneers and change-makers who will inspire you to believe in yourself and be more independent,” explains Rose. Turning toward others will help you, over time, turn to yourself. For more information on how Enlighted Solutions can help you or a loved one, please call us at 833-801-LIVE today.

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