The Danger of Judging Ourselves

The Danger of Judging Ourselves

When struggling with addiction, one of the most common emotional pitfalls we can find ourselves falling into is internalizing and absorbing society’s judgment of addiction and addicts and turning that judgment onto ourselves. We start to believe the things we hear – that addiction is not a real thing, that addicts are bad people and criminals, that we use our addiction as an excuse for bad behavior. We start to judge ourselves and think about ourselves disparagingly. Why is this self-judgment so dangerous?

When we are working towards recovery, we need all the support we can get. We need all the inner resources and strength we can muster. Self-judgment depletes our inner strength, our confidence and our sense of self. We start to believe that we can’t recover and that we’re doomed to a life of active addiction. We knock ourselves down rather than building ourselves up. Our self-talk becomes cruel. The voice we’re listening to all day every day is full of self-hatred. We’re up against not only the force of our addiction but our own self-disparagement as well. We deny ourselves of hope, optimism and positivity. Our energy becomes full of negativity and cynicism.

When we judge ourselves harshly, we’re more likely to relapse because we’re not giving ourselves our own support and encouragement. We’re putting ourselves down. Our negative energy taints everything we do, from the habits we perpetuate to the relationships we choose. We’re manifesting with an energy of pessimism which brings about the circumstances we don’t want rather than the ones we do. We give up on ourselves. We lose faith in ourselves. We stop believing in our ability to heal ourselves. Self-judgement can be the catalyst for our self-destructiveness. Feeling bad about ourselves can be the reason we self-harm.

When we find ourselves judging ourselves, we can make the conscious choice to turn that judgment around and choose compassion instead. Ask yourself, would you be so judgmental of someone else, someone who was struggling with depression and emotional pain, or a physical illness? Addiction is just as debilitating and destructive, and those struggling with it deserve to be understood and embraced rather than judged and rejected. You are no different. You are battling a tremendously painful illness, and just because it can operate invisibly and be less easily recognizable than other illnesses, doesn’t mean it is any less difficult. Choose to be kind to yourself. Surround yourself with people who understand addiction. Be in community with other people in recovery. Self-judgment is dangerous. Let’s work to eradicate this judgment in ourselves so that we can empower ourselves to heal.

The staff at Enlightened Solutions has a combined 45+ years invested in our personal recoveries, and we have assisted in the restoration of countless lives. We can help you too. Call us at (833) 801-LIVE today.


Investigating our Triggers

We Judge Each Other Constantly – Let’s Stop

We have a tendency to pass judgment on people around us, whether it’s someone we know, are just meeting, or see on TV or social media. We critique and criticize, usually without knowing the person well at all. Why do we do this?

One reason might be- if the subconscious mind’s role is to keep us safe, maybe one of the ways it does that is by convincing us to be wary of others and to keep our distance. Maybe it’s a result of the turbulent societies we live in and the stories we hear of violence, turmoil, hatred and oppression. We instinctively and purposely separate, isolate and distance ourselves.

If we look at things cosmically, we’re all the same species co-existing on a magical ball floating around in space. If we could go so far as to think of ourselves as a human family, then we are brothers and sisters. What would it take to be more kind to each other?

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

– Wendy Mass

One thing we all share is that we have all experienced pain of some kind. Everyone’s story is different, everyone’s experience is unique, but we’ve all had pain. We couldn’t possibly know by looking at someone, or meeting them, or following them on social media what their story is- so how can we judge? And more importantly, why bother? Doesn’t it feel better to live and let live?

We judge each other on just about everything under the sun- ethnicity, skin color, religion, sexual preference, accent, socio-economic status, job. And even more superficial- body type, clothing, hair. We usually aren’t curious and want to know more about people, we want to criticize them and belittle them, put them down for being different from us, for not meeting our expectations, for doing things differently, for living life differently. And since everyone is struggling with battles we know nothing about, essentially we’re all suffering differently, handling life’s challenges differently, and trying to figure out life differently. We go about creating our lives differently, and that’s a beautiful thing.

What would it take for us to feel like instead of passing judgment, we were choosing to think “we’re all in this together. How can we help each other get where we’re going?” Can we be inspired by each other? Can we empathize with each other, see each other’s pain and transform our judgment into compassion?

Judgment is toxic, it’s often unkind, and the negativity of it brings us down. It’s so destructive to our mental and emotional health. Let’s do better.

Working to heal our thoughts and behaviors is a large part of recovery. Let Enlightened Solutions help. Call (833) 801-LIVE.