Treatment Archives - Page 10 of 31 - Enlightened Solutions

Investigating Our Fears

Written by enlightened solutions on September 12, 2018. Posted in 12 Step Program, Mental Health. Leave a Comment

The healing process of working through our fears includes investigating and taking a closer look at them. As we identify our fears and become conscious of how they show up in our lives, it’s also helpful to think about where they came from, where we learned or acquired them, and how they make us feel, in order to work through them and move forward.

Sometimes we’re not sure where our fears originated and why. It takes some work to look at them more in depth. We can ask ourselves, where did these fears come from? What did I experience, especially early in life, that contributed to my developing this fear? Traumatic experiences, such as losing a loved one or being abused, can cause us to develop all kinds of fears- fears of loss, abandonment, pain, rejection.

Sometimes we absorb our fears from family members or other people we grew up with. We can inherit fears and other emotional memories and then find ourselves being afraid of certain things we might not have been otherwise, simply because our families experienced them. We can also pick fears up from people over time. Our fearful thoughts, feelings and behaviors can affect the people around us.

It is common for us to be influenced by the cultures we live in and are surrounded by. We are impacted by the things we see on TV and in movies, music, video games, social media, etc. We can develop fears based on the things we see. Everything we witness becomes part of our psyche. Seeing extreme violence in a movie, for example, can cause you to develop a specific fear, even if you didn’t experience it yourself.

The work of investigating fears can be very challenging emotionally. Our fears are scary! It’s important to approach this work with self-love and patience. Many of our fears have been with us for most of our lives, and healing takes time. Don’t beat yourself up for being afraid. Fears are normal and human, and something we all have in common. They are one of the ties that bind us together in the vastness of the human experience. Have compassion for yourself. Remember yourself as a child and have compassion for the pain you experienced.

As we become more conscious of our fears, it can be overwhelming to look at them with honesty, openness and vulnerability. We can find ourselves feeling even more sad and afraid, because we are gaining consciousness rather than burying our fears under our addictions. When fearful thoughts pop up as they inevitably will, send yourself love and affirm that you are growing stronger. Have faith that you will heal. Be brave.

Working through addictions and mental health issues requires that we address our fears. The experienced community at Enlightened Solutions can help. Call (833) 801-LIVE for more information.

The Emotions of Addiction

Written by enlightened solutions on September 11, 2018. Posted in 12 Step Program, Addiction. Leave a Comment

When we are dealing with addictions, we often experience layers of emotions. Sometimes we are conscious of these emotions, and sometimes we bury them underneath our addictive behaviors and thought patterns. We often avoid dealing with our emotions because of how difficult and painful they can be. This avoidance has a way of exacerbating our addictions and compounding our pain. Here are some of the emotions we commonly feel when living with addictions.

Shame

When struggling with addictions, we often feel a deep sense of shame, for letting the people we care about down and for disappointing them, not to mention ourselves, for failing to reach our goals of sobriety, for not living up to our potential. We are caught in cycles of behaviors that we know we need to stop, that we want to stop. When we can’t stop, we feel weak, pathetic, ashamed and embarrassed. We are often consumed with regret and remorse. We feel unable to forgive ourselves. This painful buildup of shame often compels us to want to escape via our drugs of choice, which, as we know, only increases our shame.

Sadness

Because addiction is often judged and stigmatized, sometimes we forget that at the root of people’s addictions there often lies a deep sadness. We carry grief from our traumatic childhoods, past relationships and other difficult life experiences. As we self-destruct with our addictive behaviors, we accumulate more sadness- about our feelings of unworthiness, about the pain we’ve caused other people and ourselves. We see the effects our addictions have on us and the people we care about, and it can be very sad, for everyone involved. Sometimes trying to escape our sadness was what initially prompted us to engage in our addictive behaviors in the first place.

Hopelessness

Addiction and depression often go hand in hand. As we try to quit and can’t, we often become more and more depressed. Feelings of despair and hopelessness are common in both addiction and depression. Sometimes we don’t know where to turn or who to ask for help. Sometimes we feel so convinced that there’s no hope that we feel it’s useless to seek help. We feel deeply alone, scared, lost, overwhelmed and confused. Maybe we’ve already sought help, even received treatment, but our relapses cause us to believe we’ll never fully recover. We’ve been in darkness so long that we not only can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, we believe there is no light at all. We seek comfort in our drugs of choice, thus perpetuating the cycle. The painful hopelessness we feel drives many of us to consider taking our own lives.

We can learn how to work through our painful emotions. It is far from easy but so necessary for our healing.

There is hope. Recovering from our addictions means facing our emotions, and the community at Enlightened Solutions is here to help. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

Healing From Our Fears

Written by enlightened solutions on September 10, 2018. Posted in 12 Step Program, Healthy Living. Leave a Comment

When we are struggling with addictions and mental health issues, we can find ourselves consumed by fear. We often use our addictive behaviors and thought patterns to bury our fears, whether consciously or subconsciously. We distract ourselves from our fears and try to run from them. We self-medicate to numb ourselves and to avoid having to really look at our fears. For some of us, it’s our relationship to fear that is a major contributor to our mental health problems and addictions in the first place.

How do we heal from our fears? This is a fundamental, very real, very challenging part of the healing process. When we’re working to recover from our addictions and mental health issues, we can’t ignore the underlying fears that we may or not be conscious of. When we look at the fears head on, we can address them and allow ourselves to experience real healing.

Instead of only focusing on the surface symptoms such as anxiety, nervousness, and restlessness, let’s dig deeper at what fears those feelings represent. This can take time, patience and soul searching. Sometimes we become so mired in our repetitive thought patterns and addictive behaviors that we need the help of an outside person such as a therapist, mentor, spiritual guide or trusted friend.

Meditate, still your thoughts, and get quiet. Give your inner voice the space to communicate with you. Allow the guidance of your higher power to come through. Sometimes we consume ourselves so much with our recurring thoughts, worries, problems and issues that we disconnect ourselves from our higher truths.

Give yourself time and space. Relationships of any kind can make it more difficult to connect with our inner selves.

Ask yourself, “what am I afraid of? What are my fears?” Some common ones many of us share are fear of failure and fear of success, fear of being judged by other people, fear of inadequacy, fear of being abandoned or replaced, fear of being alone. Name your fears.

Imagine the fear is already healed, and you’re no longer suffering from it. How would you feel? List these things for yourself. Examples include feeling at peace, grounded, secure, stable, confident, strong, powerful, brave, fearless.

Imagine you’ve conquered that fear. How would that feel? You’d be proud of yourself. You’d feel like you can transcend anything. You’d feel relieved, empowered and grateful to have healed your suffering.

What affirmations can you say to reflect those feelings? Write and repeat statements for yourself from the perspective of having freed yourself from your fears. “I am at peace within myself. I am healed. I am brave. I am confident. I am powerful.”

Fear is a part of life for all of us. Facing our fears and working through them, rather than running from them, is crucial to our healing.

Sometimes we need support to face our fears. Let the community at Enlightened Solutions help. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

Prioritizing Our Mental Health

Written by enlightened solutions on September 7, 2018. Posted in 12 Step Program, Mental Health. Leave a Comment

When we are struggling with addictions and emotional difficulties, sometimes our mental health is the last thing on our list of priorities. We find ourselves caught up in our addictive behaviors and using our drugs of choice, and we have a hard time seeing our way out of the fog. When we are in the thick of it, sometimes we neglect our mental health and forget how critically important it is to take care of ourselves.

When we are in the midst of our addictive patterns, including unhealthy relationships, our emotions are often volatile and constantly changing. While we’re dealing with our own stuff, we also have to deal with other people’s addictions and emotional challenges, especially our partners and the people we live with. We have to deal with the everyday realities of life- taking care of our families, working, going to school, paying expenses, etc. When we don’t work to ensure our minds are getting the care and balance they need, we can experience relapses in our addictive behaviors, as well as worsened periods of depression and anxiety.

When we are consumed with scoring drugs, or dealing with intense sadness, we don’t always make sure to prioritize getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food or exercising. We tend to neglect our spiritual practice because we feel so generally overwhelmed that anything beyond the bare necessities of getting through the day feels insurmountable. We might be too anxious to try to will ourselves to meditate, or too depressed to encourage ourselves to exercise. We might be able to function enough to go to work, but then to relax we binge on junk food and TV.

Many of us struggling with addictions and mental health issues are subconsciously telling ourselves that we don’t deserve self-love. Sometimes we neglect the most basic elements of self-care, and it is often because we carry within us a feeling that we are unworthy, unlovable or undeserving. We put ourselves, our happiness and our peace of mind last, and we prioritize our addictive relationships, behaviors and drugs of choice. We struggle to maintain a sense of balance within ourselves and within our lives. We don’t feel grounded or centered. Over time, our mental health declines.

What can we do to start prioritizing caring for our mental health, especially when we are caught in cycles of addiction and emotional challenges? We can start by making the choice to prioritize ourselves, and by working to believe that we are worth taking care of ourselves. We can affirm that we deserve our own love and care. By doing this, we start the process of opening ourselves up to healing.

Holistic healing is a main focus at Enlightened Solutions. We can help you find ways to take better care of yourself. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

Recognizing Anxiety

Written by enlightened solutions on September 6, 2018. Posted in 12 Step Program, Mental Health. Leave a Comment

Sometimes when we talk about mental health problems, we speak about them generally and don’t necessarily get specific on what those problems actually are. Many people experience depression and anxiety without realizing it, especially when struggling with addictions.

Anxiety is something many of us experience. Some of us feel anxious every day, some of us sporadically. Some of us experience months of worsened anxiety, particularly when depressed. Some people will go years feeling fine to then have their anxiety symptoms reappear.

How do we recognize anxiety? Anxiety can be complex but has some symptoms and effects that are easily recognizable.

Some people wake up to a rush of negative thoughts that hit them immediately upon waking. Some people wake up worried about the upcoming day, or logistics they have to sort out. They might wake up ruminating about whatever they were upset about the night before. Sometimes we carry issues we’re anxious about and wake up worried about them every day. Sometimes we will wake up upset about a different issue every day.

Some of us experience anxiety accompanied by depression, and we wake up to an onslaught of suicidal thoughts, accompanied by feelings of despair and hopelessness. Our inner voice tells us how inadequate we are, or it replays vivid memories of our mistakes. Sometimes we’ll wake up immediately thinking about the things we’re most embarrassed about or ashamed of.

For a lot of us, these anxious thoughts and feelings stay with us for the rest of the day. Being consumed with these negative, worrisome, sometimes disturbing thoughts can be really distressing. Sometimes our minds race and we feel like we can’t slow them down. We might think or say the same things repeatedly. Sometimes we experience confusion and overwhelm and can’t get our thoughts straight. We might have a hard time speaking, struggle to get our words out, or not be able to speak at all. Conversely, we might talk more than usual and even feel our thoughts and words are out of control.

For many of us, we experience anxiety in physical ways. We have a hard time catching our breath, or we might breathe really fast, shallow breaths. Our hearts beat faster. We might feel a physical nervousness in our chest, stomach, hands and feet. Sometimes we might feel panic as a wave of heat or cold rising in our bodies, or as an intense panic attack, which can feel similar to a heart attack.

Many of us struggling with anxiety have insomnia and other sleep problems. Some of us have a hard time making ourselves eat or have no appetite, while some of us overeat when anxious.

Recognizing anxiety is an important step in the healing process. Being able to identify what we’re experiencing can help us to then seek out healing solutions.

The community at Enlightened Solutions can help you to identify anxiety and work with you to manage it. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

Positive Thinking

Written by enlightened solutions on September 5, 2018. Posted in 12 Step Program, Addiction. Leave a Comment

When we talk about ways to manage depression and anxiety, one of the things we often hear recommended is positive thinking. When we are feeling like things are absolutely hopeless, it’s very hard to make ourselves think happy thoughts. How do we change our thinking to be more positive? We have the power to change the course of our thoughts, and therefore our energy. We have more control over our moods than we think we do.

Start to pay more attention to your thoughts. Practice observing them. Become more conscious of the thoughts that are bringing you down, causing you anxiety and making you sad. As we dwell on these thoughts, they become our default thought patterns. They are often self-destructive in nature and can have a serious impact on our mental health.

Start to imagine what it would feel like to be free from those thoughts. Take the issues at hand and come up with positive counterparts to them. “I am depressed” could be transformed to “I am healing. I am working through challenges. I am getting stronger every day.”

“I am an addict” can be transformed to “I can create a new life for myself. I am strong. I choose what’s best for me.”

As you create these transformational, affirmative statements, put your energy behind the words while repeating them, and try to feel them as though they are real. You are creating new positive thought patterns, and as you continue to focus on them, they begin to replace the old, negative ones. You are reprogramming your subconscious mind to default to these patterns instead.

Over time, with practice, these thoughts become second nature. When we have moments of fear, anxiety or sadness, our minds become more resilient and respond with self-loving, self-affirming thoughts. We start to believe in ourselves more and mentally build ourselves up more often.

Positive thinking is often dismissed as being too simple to be effective, especially for serious depression. Working to transform our thoughts, by way of repeating affirmations, writing in a journal, creative writing, etc., is one part of the healing process. We can’t expect affirmations alone to completely heal our deep-rooted fears and traumas, but they are a powerful tool we can use to help ourselves. Healing is a lifelong process, and we can really help ourselves by working to have more control over the direction of our thoughts.

Treatment at Enlightened Solutions includes therapy, mentoring and recovery planning. Call (833) 801-LIVE for more information.

Dispelling Myths About Addiction

Written by enlightened solutions on September 4, 2018. Posted in Addiction, Addiction Recovery. Leave a Comment

One of the most difficult things we face as addicts can be the judgments of others, especially those who don’t have a personal understanding of addictions and all the elements that can contribute to them. When it comes to judging addicts and addictions, there are some myths we can try to dispel. More understanding can translate to all of us having more compassion and more empathy, which will hopefully help more people feel safe enough to reach out for help.

“Addiction is just an excuse for bad behavior.”

Addicts, like all people, can and do sometimes make excuses for their behavior, but addiction as a whole is much more complicated than that. The manifestations of addiction may include making excuses, just as they may include telling lies, but critics who minimize addiction by saying things like “he’s just making excuses,” or “he’s just lying,” are failing to see all of the other, deeper elements of addiction. These can include the shame, remorse and regret that many addicts feel consumed by, sometimes on a constant basis. Addicts can feel as though their thoughts, feelings and behaviors are out of their control. Their actions are often compulsive, and they may struggle day in and day out to stop. Many addicts feel a constant need to quit, and their relapses can be disheartening and painful. Many addicts are suffering from chronic depression and anxiety, and many of them are suicidal.

“If you can’t quit, you haven’t tried hard enough.”

The majority of our thoughts and behaviors are driven by our subconscious minds, which govern 95% of our daily lives. Because the subconscious stores all of our emotional information, people who have been traumatized and who struggle with mental illness or addiction are operating with unseen forces of pain and instability. The limiting beliefs and self-hatred they have stored in their subconscious are constantly working to sabotage their recovery. Addicts may be trying as hard as they consciously can to quit, but they are up against the powerful self-destructive and self-deprecating programming of their subconscious minds, programming they often aren’t conscious of. In other words, when addicts try to quit, the vast majority of their inner voice’s monologue may be comprised of thoughts like “You can’t quit. You’ll never stay sober. You’re a horrible person. I’m so ashamed, and this hurts so much- don’t you want to drink to take away some of the pain? Just one more time…”

Recovery requires not only trying to abstain from the drug of choice, but also working to heal the wounds of the subconscious mind in order to choose more self-loving, healing thoughts and behaviors. This can be very difficult and can take people years to do, especially when they are suffering from trauma, co-existing addictions and other mental health issues.

The community at Enlightened Solutions has personal experience with addiction. We understand just how hard it can be to feel judged. Call (833) 801-LIVE for support.

Learning From our Mistakes

Written by enlightened solutions on September 3, 2018. Posted in 12 Step Program, Addiction Recovery. Leave a Comment

Mistakes, though sometimes painful, are an unavoidable part of life. We make mistakes at every stage of our lives, regardless of how much we might try to avoid them. We are human, and part of the human experience is making mistakes. Learning to glean the lessons from our mistakes is an important part of recovering from addiction and mental health issues.

Sometimes we tend to get stuck in the details of our mistakes. We replay what happened over and over again in our minds, we beat ourselves up and continue to judge ourselves long after the mistake has been made. We dwell on the embarrassment and shame we feel. We forget that mistakes are normal and natural, and we hold ourselves to impossibly high standards of perfection.

It is natural to have remorse for our mistakes and wrongdoings, and to genuinely feel bad about them, to want to make amends and redeem yourself. Sometimes, though, we can’t shake the feelings of self-hatred and unworthiness, and we can’t forgive ourselves. This can cause us to totally miss the lessons we could have learned from those mistakes, lessons that might help us avoid those same mistakes in the future, lessons we could share with others to help them along their way.

Life lessons are embedded in everything we do. Spiritual tests are everywhere. Mistakes are a sign of growth and can often cause very rapid growth, because we’re forced to look at things in new ways, address new things, and take on new challenges, often in a relatively short period of time. This rapid growth can lead to tremendous growing pains, especially when our mistakes involve hurting, or being hurt by, others.

It can really hurt to grow and change, especially when we were already unhappy with our starting point, i.e. depressed or struggling with addiction. If we can focus as much as possible on the possibilities for growth, rather than on the embarrassing details of the mistakes themselves, we stand to gain life-changing wisdom that we can use to help ourselves and others. If we can continue to grow, and to grow in self-love, we can get to a place of inner peace, look back at our mistakes and feel they were a necessary part of our evolution.

Self-reflection is so important to recovery, and the community at Enlightened Solutions has years of experience supporting people in their recovery process. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

Why Do We Hate Ourselves?

Written by enlightened solutions on August 31, 2018. Posted in 12 Step Program, Addiction. Leave a Comment

A common theme when it comes to our mental and emotional health is how much we struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. If we don’t consciously work to address these issues, they can manifest as all kinds of problems with our mental and emotional health. We grow to hate ourselves but often don’t know why. Here are some of the factors.

Our Culture

Our mainstream culture creates certain standards, for how we should look, think, feel, act and live. This becomes the status quo, and we are constantly exposed to these standards through the clever marketing of advertising and entertainment. We come to be brainwashed to believe that these things are what we should aspire to, and that there is something wrong with us for being different. We consciously and subconsciously look to these external markings for validation, and when we don’t live up to them, we feel inadequate and inferior. When we aren’t conscious of this process, we can grow to hate ourselves.

Abuse

Sometimes when we experience abuse or violence at the hands of family members, partners or even strangers, we internalize that abuse to mean there is something inherently wrong with us. We come to believe that we aren’t worthy of love, that we aren’t good enough, and that we deserve to be abused. If we allow ourselves to continue these toxic thought patterns for too long and don’t work to extricate ourselves from them, what can result is an overall feeling of self-hatred.

Guilt

Everyone makes mistakes, but some of us tend to hold onto the guilt from our mistakes for years on end. We struggle to forgive ourselves, even when those we hurt have forgiven us, even when we feel our higher power has forgiven us. We see our mistakes not as learning experiences necessary for our growth, but as proof we aren’t good people. Our guilt turns into shame, the pervasive feeling that your actions make you unworthy, unlovable, and a bad person. Your guilt distorts your self-image, and eventually you feel like a monster, forgetting just how common our mistakes actually are in the grand scheme of human nature.

Self-hatred can fuel and compound addiction, depression and any other form of mental illness. It can be so sad, so isolating and so painful to hate yourself. In order to heal from any issue we might be experiencing in our lives, we have to make unconditional self-love a priority in our healing process.

The community at Enlightened Solutions has years of personal and professional experience dealing with these issues. Call (833) 801-LIVE for more information.

Why We Can’t Be Alone

Written by enlightened solutions on August 30, 2018. Posted in 12 Step Program, Addiction Recovery. Leave a Comment

Many of us who struggle with addiction and depression also struggle with unhealthy relationships. Because we are in turmoil, we are manifesting turmoil and also attracting partners who are in turmoil, and as a result, our romantic relationships are often toxic and abusive. There are many reasons we choose to stay in these relationships, with one of the most common and fundamental reasons being we’re afraid to be alone.

Some of us grew up in families separated by abuse, divorce, incarceration or death. Our younger selves grew to be familiar with the feeling of abandonment, and we know how much it hurts. As adults, we’re afraid to have to feel it again. Our fears can feel larger than life, to the point where we are driven by them. We’re so afraid to feel the pain we’ll do anything to avoid having to feel it- that can include using drugs or staying in unhealthy relationships.

Some of us consciously or subconsciously use relationships to occupy our minds and drown out the inner demons. When you’re embroiled in conflict and drama, it’s harder to hear the thoughts that torture you when you’re alone. The same goes for drugs and alcohol- they might temporarily lower the volume on the thoughts that bother us the most. When you’re obsessing about the battle with your partner, you might obsess less about the other battles in your mind.

Sometimes relationships are a happy distraction, and we self-medicate with that high rather than face the painful stuff. We become addicted to the highs of love, sex and affection. In the moment it feels so much better than everything else.

When our relationships are abusive or co-dependent, sometimes our partners threaten us as part of the emotionally abusive cycle, to weaken us psychologically and to make us stay. They amplify our fears and insecurities and chip away at our self-esteem and sense of self-worth. They convince us that no one else will ever love us, that we’re much better off with them than without them, and that if we leave we’ll always be alone. Worse, they threaten us with violence and keep us trapped by the fear they will hurt us or our loved ones. We often stay trapped in these cycles, even when the threats of violence turn real and our safety is at stake.

Addictive relationships- not only do they not take our pain away, they add to the pain and create more. We know this but stay anyway. The cycle persists. Sometimes we’re addicted to the pain. At the heart of it all is fear. Fear of the pain of loss. Fear of being abandoned, of losing the person you love, of losing love. Fear of being alone, fear you’re not strong enough to make it on your own. The fear you’ll be replaced. The fear you’re not good enough.

Facing our fears is an important part of the recovery process. It’s scary, but you don’t have to do it alone. Let Enlightened Solutions help. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

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