Treatment Archives - Page 14 of 31 - Enlightened Solutions

Writing the Angry Email – One Way to Process Anger

Written by enlightened solutions on July 10, 2018. Posted in Alternative Therapy, Mental Health. Leave a Comment

Anger is a part of life. How we deal with it can make all the difference for our mental and emotional health. Our responses to things that anger and hurt us are often reactive. We yell when there is a misunderstanding. We break or hit things or punch holes in walls when we feel enraged. We abuse each other and ourselves.

One super helpful technique to diffuse anger is to write an angry email to the person or people you’re angry with, that you don’t intend to send. Write everything out. Don’t sugarcoat anything. You don’t have to worry about hurting their feelings or causing more conflict, because they won’t be reading it. Don’t hold back. Include everything that comes to mind, any and all details you can think of, and any emotions it brings up. Ask any questions you have. Write in all capital letters whenever you’re yelling in your mind! Do whatever you need to do to feel like you’ve expressed all your thoughts and feelings on the issue. This email might take days, weeks, months, even years to finish. With some relationships, it might be an ongoing email. Use the email to help you. This doesn’t solve the problem or eliminate the issue, but it can help in multiple ways.

Writing can help you manage the wave of emotions that can come with any tense situation. Conflicts, especially within families and close relationships, can cause us tremendous stress, anger and sadness. The process of writing it all out helps to navigate the many emotions. It also helps the energy to flow rather than staying stuck within you. Writing through a situation can help you to detach, by allowing you to feel like it’s on paper (or your phone/computer) so you can hold onto it less tightly in your mind. Writing it out can also help if you’re inclined to replay details, obsess over conversations, or have a hard time remembering how things happened.

Writing in general can be very meditative. You might feel the anger as rage, sadness, anxiety, tension or nervousness. These may cause physical effects such as sweaty palms, nervous tingling in your hands and feet, or heat in your chest. You might feel that as you write, these physical feelings start to decrease and then subside. Once you’ve done this writing process, you might have a whole new perspective and understanding on the issue and find yourself feeling much less angry.

We all need safe spaces to process our anger. Enlightened Solutions wants to help. Call (833) 801-LIVE.

Three Simple Ways to Cope with Anxiety

Written by enlightened solutions on July 9, 2018. Posted in Mental Health, Recovery. Leave a Comment

Anxiety is one of the many mental illnesses affecting countless people around the world. Anxiety often manifests as strong feelings of fear and nervousness and can impair us in all areas of our lives. The sources of our anxiety can come from anywhere; trauma, the pressures of daily life, interpersonal relationships, traffic! Here are some very effective ways to cope with anxiety that are simple and easy:

Breathing Exercises

Our breath more than keeps us alive, it connects our minds with our bodies, hearts, souls and spirits. Those experiencing anxiety have probably noticed at one time or another that they are breathing in short, quick, shallow breaths, or that they are struggling to be able to take deep breaths. This is often due to the inner turmoil of anxiety, and it can also be due simultaneously to lung problems such as asthma. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, the lungs are associated with grief, and many people with chronic anxiety have also experienced serious trauma and the grief that can accompany it. There are countless helpful breathing exercises such as yogic breathing techniques, including alternate nostril breathing and the ujjayi ocean breath.

One super simple exercise specifically for anxiety, and for asthma also interestingly, is easy to remember- 1:2 breathing, where your exhale is twice as long as your inhale, meaning if you breathe in for 4, you will breathe out for 8, pausing at the top of the inhale and at the bottom of the exhale. The longer exhale and pausing help to balance your body’s CO2 levels, which are often high in over thinkers, over breathers and asthmatics. As you read this, how does your breathing feel? Is it shallow and fast? Is it labored and difficult? Being conscious, mindful and intentional with our breathing can do wonders for our anxiety.

Meditation

Breathing is a fundamental part of meditation, which itself has countless different methods. Those who have come to believe they can’t meditate might not have found a method that works for them. Focusing on our breathing while allowing our thoughts to come and go without attachment is just one of many different forms of meditation. There are walking meditation, visualization, chanting, repeating affirmations, listening to meditation music, meditative activities like knitting, staring at a single point such as a candle flame, and so many more. One beautiful meditation technique is visualizing healing light coming from above- from the Universe, God, Source, your higher power, your angels, (whatever name feels right for you)- and flowing into your crown and third eye chakras, located in your head and between your eyes, respectively. When your mind wanders as it will naturally do, gently bring it back to the light. Any form of meditation you find that works for you helps you to slow your breathing and your heart rate. Meditation in general helps increase our sense of calm, inner peace and resilience, ultimately making us happier, stronger and more at peace.

Affirmations

One simple way to meditate is by repeating affirmations, a method that is powerful for reprogramming the fears and doubts stored in our subconscious minds. For anxiety, try saying and writing:

I am at peace within myself.

I am calm and balanced.

Everything happens as it’s meant to.

I trust in my higher power.

I am manifesting everything I need to live my best life.

I am grateful for the beauty of life.

Anxiety doesn’t have to derail your life. Let Enlightened Solutions help. Call (833) 801-LIVE today.

The Shame Spiral: How Guilt and Shame Fuel Addiction

Written by enlightened solutions on July 6, 2018. Posted in Addiction, Recovery. Leave a Comment

The conversation around addiction and addiction treatment has been a multifaceted and complex one over the years. While some would assert that addiction is a disease with genetic predisposition, others maintain that addiction can result from severe trauma. With all of the differing causes and manifestations of addiction, one thing many addicts have in common is the prevailing sense of shame that consumes them- both shame for their addictive behaviors and the pain they cause, and shame for the traumatic events that may have contributed to their addiction in the first place.

Addiction can take on many forms, including a dependence on, and dangerous overuse of, alcohol and narcotics, gambling, love and sex, cigarettes, etc. It can also be an over-reliance on seemingly innocuous things such as work and exercise. Addiction can involve anything one might use in self-destructive ways in order to escape his or her pain and fear.

Human nature has some universal truths, and shame is one of them. Guilt has to do with remorse for particular incidents, while shame morphs that guilt and remorse into an all-encompassing sense of unworthiness and low self-esteem. Shame can come from anywhere. A parent or caregiver might blame a child excessively for the family’s troubles and convinced him that his behavior was the cause. An addict may have experienced abuse or neglect in childhood, leaving her feeling generally unloved, unsafe and unworthy. Similarly, trauma can come from many sources, from the shock and destabilization of a car accident, to the feeling of abandonment that can come from divorce, separation or death. The pain of being deeply ashamed of oneself can lead an addict to want to run from that pain, choosing a drink or a lover or some other unhealthy behavior instead of safer tools for healing.

Once on the shame spiral, it can be heart wrenchingly difficult to remove oneself. An addict carries shame from his childhood, for example, then engages in addictive behaviors to numb himself from the pain; he hurts himself and others more and more in the process, as shame is compounded exponentially over time. When an alcoholic feels ashamed, her instinct is to drink to feel better. As an addict runs from her shame rather than confronting it head on, she instinctively escapes the pain with the rush of the high from her drug of choice, and thus the shame cycle repeats itself.

The path to healing is different for every addict. One tool for healing everyone can add to their toolbox is simple but not easy, and it involves healing on the spiritual, emotional and mental levels. Forgiveness. Radical forgiveness. Unconditional forgiveness, for yourself and for all of your mistakes and wrongdoings. Forgiveness for those who hurt you, for those who may have contributed to your struggle with addiction over the years, for those who traumatized you and caused you pain. Forgiveness. It feels so much better than the bitterness and resentment. Worlds better than the relentless self-loathing of shame. As you strengthen and heal yourself, place your hand on your heart and meditate on forgiveness.

Forgive yourself. Let Enlightened Solutions help. We provide therapy, mentoring, and friendship. Call (833) 801-LIVE today.

How Running from Our Fears Perpetuates Addiction

Written by enlightened solutions on July 5, 2018. Posted in 12 Step Program, Addiction. Leave a Comment

Fear is a part of life, painful but unavoidable. Many people who have experienced trauma have over the years developed an unhealthy relationship with fear. Instead of allowing oneself to feel the fear and move through it in healthy ways, an addict might use different coping strategies to try to escape it. Trauma affects us in deep ways and can contribute to the development of very unhealthy, self-destructive tendencies which can easily become addictions. Running from our fears can happen in many different ways: avoidance, distraction and self-medicating are a few of them.

When battling an addiction or really any major life challenge, the sufferer and those around him or her are often aware of the problem, but because it is so painfully difficult to address, they avoid it instead. An addict might avoid talking about the issue altogether because he is filled with guilt, remorse, regret, shame and embarrassment. His family and friends might avoid addressing the issue with him directly, in order to prevent anything remotely triggering, and to offset the chance of verbal, emotional or physical abuse. The addict himself may avoid thinking about the addiction altogether and find ways to distract himself.

Distracting oneself from the realities of addiction not only perpetuates the original problem but can manifest in additional addictive or cyclical behaviors. A sex addict might drink excessively to distract herself from her pain. An alcoholic might distract his partner with gifts after violent incidents to try to compensate for the abuse.

Similarly, an addict might develop addictive thought patterns, or obsessions, as a subconscious means of distracting herself from the pain. These obsessions can revolve around anything: other people, partners, mistakes we’ve made, past regrets. At the center of these obsessions are deeply rooted fears needing to be addressed, but our minds are often too consumed with, and distracted by, the subjects of our obsessions to be able to do that important healing work.

Unchecked obsessive thought patterns and behaviors can morph into neurosis, which can compound addiction by giving the addict yet another source of pain to try to avoid. For example, a sex addict might become obsessive about his wife’s whereabouts and grow increasingly paranoid that she is having an affair. This is his subconscious mind’s way of distracting him from the real fears that are at the root of his addiction, such as the fear he might cheat, for example.

Another way addicts avoid painful truths and distract themselves is by self-medicating. An addict might overuse sleeping pills not only to help with insomnia but to sleep through the day to avoid the pain of her current reality and to escape the racing thoughts. Similarly, an addict might turn to other drugs, overeat until sick, or binge on TV shows for days on end rather than face responsibilities. One way to describe addiction would be to say we are essentially running from our fears, but eventually, as we know, there comes a point when we can no longer run from ourselves.

Be Brave. We know firsthand how terrifying addiction can be. At Enlightened Solutions, we have personal experience with recovery and can help. Call us today: (833) 801-LIVE.

Recovering from a Nervous Breakdown: Climbing Your Way Up from Rock Bottom

Written by enlightened solutions on July 4, 2018. Posted in Addiction, Anxiety Disorder, Mental Health, Nervous Breakdown, Recovery. Leave a Comment

A nervous breakdown is a serious breakdown in one’s mental, emotional and spiritual health that can have many different causes and factors, including trauma, lack of sleep and/or bio-chemical imbalances. Anyone who has experienced a serious breakdown knows that in order to truly understand what happened to you and why, you have to dig deep and get to the root of the issues and fully address all of the underlying problems that you might or might not be fully conscious of, in order to find holistic solutions. Here are a few suggestions to help in your healing process.

After a breakdown, you might find yourself having to relearn how to live life. It might sound crazy to anyone who hasn’t experienced a serious depression or mental breakdown, but for those who have, daily routines might feel impossible- even getting out of bed may feel insurmountable. You might wake up every morning in a state of panic, or have chronic insomnia, or both. You might find yourself unable to eat, or to stop crying, or to make the panic subside. You might be filled with persistent anxiety and/or suicidal thoughts.

However your difficulties manifest themselves, you may find yourself having to master the basics of daily life all over again. It can help immeasurably to break things down into small steps and tasks, and walk yourself through them. Make lists of things you want to accomplish, however small they may be: showering, drinking water, exercising, cleaning. Completing even small tasks will give you a sense of accomplishment and will be a step on your journey of recovery.

When seriously depressed, we tend to judge ourselves harshly for being in the state we’re in, for not being able to get out of bed, for not being able to keep our home clean, for missing another day of work. When we are suffering is when we need our compassion and forgiveness the most. Rather than berating yourself, try telling yourself things like “I’m sorry you’re suffering. I love you unconditionally.” This change in your perspective and your self-talk can help to reprogram your subconscious mind over time, to fill yourself with love rather than the self-loathing that can come with depression, and to give you more motivation to make positive, healthy changes for yourself.

When you are down, you might find yourself feeling impatient with your progress or lack thereof. As much as you can, have patience with yourself. You didn’t fall into this hole overnight, and you won’t dig yourself out overnight either. The big changes you need to make in your life will require diligence, energy and time, and the more you can have patience with yourself during this very difficult healing process, the easier it will be to implement those changes.

Finally, and very importantly, get support. A family member, friend, support group, neighbor, even a social media acquaintance can be there to offer support if you are open to receiving it. Let someone know you need help, and then allow yourself the gift of being helped. Try not to feel guilty for needing help. Instead, accept the gift with gratitude, and remind yourself that you, like all of us, deserve help, support and love.

Give yourself the gift of help and support; you deserve it. Enlightened Solutions is here to help. Call (833) 801-LIVE today.

A Link Between Addiction and Mental Health- Depression, Anxiety, OCD, etc.

Written by enlightened solutions on July 3, 2018. Posted in Addiction, Mental Health. Leave a Comment

Many addicts suffer from mental health issues, and similarly many of those suffering from mental health problems also struggle with addictions. We tend to think of addiction as a dependence on drugs and alcohol, but people can have addictive relationships to anything from eating, to lying, to shopping, to dating. Just as our behaviors can be addictive, so too can our thought patterns be addictive and obsessive. There are some clear links between addiction and mental health problems, and these are a few of them.

Addicts can be addicted not only to their drug or behavior of choice, but also to ways of thinking that become ingrained in their subconscious minds after years of programming. For example, an alcoholic might have come to believe on a deep level that he is inherently inadequate and unworthy of love. He might create mental and emotional associations between drinking and feeling more confident, extroverted and secure within himself. This thought pattern reinforces and perpetuates the problematic behavior, in this case drinking alcohol, and as he continues to drink, he may feel worse about himself, making him want to drink more, thus continuing the cycle.

A person with chronic depression may have formed thought patterns over the years of self-doubt and self-hatred. As she continues to tell herself stories that she will never reach her goals, or that she is inferior to others around her, she becomes more and more addicted to self-deprecation. Her low self-esteem makes her more depressed, and as our inner world creates our outer world, this can manifest in more circumstances reflecting this belief: financial instability, unhealthy relationships, daily struggles- making her that much more depressed.

Anxiety-sufferers may be addicted to worrying, to pessimism, to jumping to conclusions, or to expecting the worst-case scenario. Those suffering from delusions might compulsively accuse others of silencing or victim-blaming them. Similarly, people can develop different forms of neurosis, such as pathological lying, as coping mechanisms that morph into addictive, compulsive behaviors. Another neurosis, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, is essentially an addiction to certain thoughts and behaviors. All of these mental health problems can derail your life, in much the same way addiction can, and all of the above can be a result of our relationship to trauma: how we face our trauma or run from it, how we address it or try to escape it. Do we feel our pain and find healthy ways to heal it, or do we turn to self-destructive coping strategies that ultimately harm us more?

You’re not alone in this. Enlightened Solutions provides recovery treatment, therapy, mentoring, holistic healing and more. Call (833) 801-LIVE to get the support you need.

Writing to Express Our Emotions

Written by enlightened solutions on June 29, 2018. Posted in Alternative Therapy, Mental Health. Leave a Comment

A major contributor to mental health problems and addictions can be our cycles of suppressing our emotions and trying to escape our pain. We attempt to numb the pain with substances and relationships, we distract ourselves with Netflix and video games, and we run from our fears rather than facing them. The more we can confront our difficult emotions with honesty and courage, the more we can heal and find actual inner peace. Writing is one of the greatest tools to help us in this healing process.

Any form of writing can be therapeutic and calming. Journaling can be life changing. Try asking yourself an open-ended question, perhaps relating to something troubling you, and let yourself free write everything that comes to mind. “I’m worried about ___, but what am I really afraid of?”

Seeing our most troubling thoughts, our panic-inducing issues, our deepest pain, all laid out on paper can be extremely consoling. Seeing it all on paper can make it feel lighter and easier to handle. It can be much easier to sort through words on paper than the heavy weight we carry in our hearts and minds. Writing it all out can help us to get our thoughts out and organize them, which can be so helpful when our minds are racing, and we’re feeling anxious, confused and overwhelmed. Once we’ve released pent up emotion, and seen it all on paper, it can be easier to find solutions to our once seemingly insurmountable problems.

Pay attention to your breathing and heart rate. You might find that writing brings you a sense of calm, even when addressing painful subjects. To really dig deep, try creating lists- lists of your fears, your hopes, patterns you want to free yourself from, habits that hold you back. A crucial part of healing is really getting to know yourself inside and out. Write out your natural trains of thought, what is your subconscious soundtrack telling you about yourself? What do your inner demons tell you to do? What is your inner critic saying? Listen and you will receive clues on what directions you can take to heal and be happy.

Creative writing, such as writing poetry, stories or music, can be a wonderful way to address and process our emotions. The creative process in and of itself can be painful, as you’re confronting and releasing heavy stuff, but the end result is having created something beautiful, lasting and personally meaningful out of your pain. And chances are you might help or inspire someone else with your creation.

We listen, and we understand. Many of us have personal experience with recovery. Enlightened Solutions offers therapy, mentoring, and friendship. Call (833) 801-LIVE today.

Toxic Relationships and Inner Peace

Written by enlightened solutions on June 28, 2018. Posted in Mental Health, Recovery. Leave a Comment

On our journey to inner peace, we often find ourselves in relationships that reflect the exact opposite. Because we manifest from the inside out, our inner turmoil from mental health issues and addictions can cause us to attract and choose relationships that hurt us rather than help us heal.

Many of us find ourselves in tumultuous and volatile relationships, full of ups and downs, back and forths- relationships that are on again – off again, where you’re constantly finding yourself fighting and/or breaking up. They are often relationships full of drama, tension and conflict; lies, abuse, and even violence.

One such relationship is the soulmate “twin flames” partnership. Twin flames mirror back to us our fears and pain, and they often cause us a lot of suffering which forces us to learn painful lessons and to grow exponentially. These relationships are often short-lived but profoundly life-changing. With life’s growing pains come expansion and growth. This painful process often ends in disaster and heartbreak, leaving us to unpack the lessons in the years to come and often adding to the mental and emotional problems we already had.

For some of us, we form attachments and co-dependent relationships with people we aren’t truly happy or compatible with. We might become complacent or comfortable even when we know we aren’t truly happy, sometimes because we are in denial, sometimes because we are afraid to be alone. And for some of us, unhealthy relationships function just like any other addiction, and we struggle to remove ourselves from them but can’t.

Whatever the story, we often have one thing in common causing us to attract and manifest unhealthy relationships, and that is a lack of inner peace. The feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy that we carry within us from trauma, especially traumas we experienced as children, can develop into all kinds of mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, neurosis, self-esteem issues, anger problems, and addictions. All of these are factors contributing to our inner turmoil and therefore to the kinds of relationships we attract and choose.

When we are at peace within ourselves, we are much less likely to choose relationships that cause us confusion, pain or trauma. When we are at peace, we don’t want to settle for turmoil, or for anything that would take us further away from our inner peace. We no longer create the time or space for the worrying, deliberation and anxiety that can come with toxic relationships. We no longer settle for the manipulation and dishonesty. As we heal and prioritize our sanity, we often find that our relationships become healthier, and we move away from any that were causing toxicity in our lives.

We listen, and we understand. Many of us have personal experience with recovery. Enlightened Solutions offers therapy, mentoring, and friendship. Call (833) 801-LIVE today.

The Importance of Solitude for Healing

Written by enlightened solutions on June 27, 2018. Posted in Healthy Living, Mental Health. Leave a Comment

Many of us struggling with addictive behaviors and issues with our mental and emotional health often find ourselves in toxic relationships, fear-based relationship patterns, and unhealthy interpersonal dynamics. Many of us have a very hard extricating ourselves from unhealthy relationships, and many of us fear being alone. Whatever our addiction story entails, many would agree on just how hard it can be to be alone, and also on how important solitude is for healing.

When in a co-dependent relationship, it can be easy to forsake some of your identity for the sake of the partnership. For some of us, we give up our identities entirely, and the relationship is our main focal point, or worse, our obsession. It can be nearly impossible to focus on your own healing when thinking of yourself not as your individual self but as this other person’s partner. We might start to think of ourselves only in terms of the relationship, rather than all the things that made up our personality before the relationship: our interests and passions, our goals and dreams. Instead we have become simply this person’s partner, and our true self no longer exists for us. The problems in the relationship become all-consuming, and we consistently prioritize the other person and the relationship over our own health, wellness, even safety. Perhaps we totally lose interest in our lives. Perhaps we feel we can’t live without this other person, and the thought of losing them sends us into despair. It is safe to say we have become reliant on this other person, on this relationship, and on our current life circumstances to define us. The status of our relationship determines our self-worth, and if we are at odds in our partnership and we don’t have the strength of our inner power to bolster us, we just fall apart. We analyze everything through the lens of the relationship and prioritize the conflict, the issues, the drama over our own inner peace.

As we continue to generate more inner turmoil, we come to see that our circumstances are reflecting that turmoil. Eventually, for many of us, we feel enough is enough, and that we can no longer withstand it. That is when we opt for what many of us knew we needed all along, solitude.

Solitude can be daunting and even terrifying when you’ve been emotionally dependent upon other people for so long, but it allows you to do the hard work of going inward to process your pain and fears, to sit with yourself and grow stronger in your sense of self, to ground and center yourself in your purpose. Your time in solitude can help you to discover new healing tools you might not otherwise have been open to receiving. Be brave and know that you have the power to do what is best for yourself.

We listen, and we understand. Many of us have personal experience with recovery. Enlightened Solutions offers therapy, mentoring, and friendship. Contact us today.

Sharing as Healing

Written by enlightened solutions on June 26, 2018. Posted in Recovery, Sober Living. Leave a Comment

Many of us close ourselves off to potential healing opportunities because we are unable to share our pain with other people. All too often we feel alone, we isolate ourselves, and we don’t get the help and support we need. Bearing our souls to another can be daunting, even terrifying, but the more we share, the more we can help each other heal.

Talking things through with other people can be a powerful way to process and navigate our emotions. Therapy can help you address many deeply rooted issues- fears, childhood trauma, limiting beliefs, etc., but you can also benefit from sharing with anyone with whom you feel safe enough to express your truth. Many of us don’t have close friends or family, but if we are open to receiving help, we can find it in meetings, support groups, and online forums, in the co-worker who might offer a listening ear, or the stranger that sits down next to you in the park, who can tell you’re sad and asks if you’re ok. There is infinite support, guidance and wisdom for us to tap into when we’re open to it.

All too often we suppress our thoughts and feelings out of fear. We fear being judged by others. We fear judging ourselves. It can be so hard to handle our darkest truths, and we often find it easier to run from them than to face them head on. We might fear being rejected by other people. Deep down we may actually be rejecting parts of ourselves. We might fear owning up to our mistakes. We might be drowning in guilt, shame and feelings of unworthiness.

It takes courage to be honest with ourselves about our emotions and then share them with other people, especially when we have been hurt, felt judged or had our trust betrayed. Sometimes when we do share of ourselves, we are met with criticism, judgment and disapproval. We might have been rejected by someone close to us and felt abandoned and isolated as a result. We may have been silenced or shunned, making it that much harder to even want to express ourselves. When we remember that we are stronger than our fears, anything is possible, especially recovery.

It is powerfully liberating to know that as we confront and share our pain, we are empowering ourselves and becoming stronger. Sharing our vulnerability is a step toward trusting ourselves, trusting in our own inner strength, and approaching our healing journeys with courage and faith.

We listen, and we understand. Many of us have personal experience with recovery. Enlightened Solutions offers therapy, mentoring, and friendship. Call (833) 801-LIVE today.

Tag: Treatment

Writing the Angry Email – One Way to Process Anger

Three Simple Ways to Cope with Anxiety

Breathing Exercises

Meditation

Affirmations

The Shame Spiral: How Guilt and Shame Fuel Addiction

How Running from Our Fears Perpetuates Addiction

Recovering from a Nervous Breakdown: Climbing Your Way Up from Rock Bottom

A Link Between Addiction and Mental Health- Depression, Anxiety, OCD, etc.

Writing to Express Our Emotions

Toxic Relationships and Inner Peace

The Importance of Solitude for Healing

Sharing as Healing

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